Sid is an alien. He landed on the island in the middle of Barnes Pond on a moonlit evening some time in April 2022. He’s been hanging with the posh ducks and nibbling on the sourdough bread the swans get thrown most nights. It’s hard to spot Sid because he shimmers in a special reflective uniform that prevents the naked human eye from seeing him. Since landing on earth, his spacecraft has been shrunk down to the size of a dragonfly. This enables him to keep out of sight of suspicious and unfriendly local tories who might want to send him back, or to Rwanda.

His own planet is blue and white and filled with friendly flying caterpillars, lizards and hover bees. These are a kind of hybrid between a bumble bee and a lawnmower. They make quite a sound when they buzz past! If you’re lucky enough to meet Sid, you’ll find his sense of humour brilliant. He loves a Tunnocks teacake and is building a palace on his own planet using all the tin foil wrappers from his favourite biscuit. It’s taking him a few thousand years, he reckons. It’ll be worth the wait!